Jokes of the day: Crazywrita compilation of jokes.

U be 35yr old first class graduate without job and u dey follow Lil'Wayne sing 'I Ain't Got no worries' ... Ur life is on SOS
=>Mumu girl said: "I dated him for GOOD 10 years and he broke my heart" fo0l, what's GOOD in the years?
=>I overheard a girl talking to her BF, initially I thought she was talking to God, cos the things she asked for only God can provide dem. Ladies,
the only man you are allowed to chase, I repeat CHASE shamelessly is the man that stole your Purse.
=>Why take Marriage counselling from a Single? That's worse than Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles & Cobhams driving lessons.
=>I'm sure your mother did not give you bre.ast scattered with tattoos, stretch marks, and Eczema... Pls allow your children enjoy same.
=>Nollywood has influenced us too much these days. I murder Cockroaches by covering their face with a pillow and pressing hard.
=>I owe my life to Tonto Dike. I was in Coma for 3wks when d nurse played her song on her phone. I had to stand up... to remove her battery.
=>At 23, Ur bosoms have already observed eternal rest & Full time sleeping mode. Yet U are forming "hard to get" Aunty, even d devil is weeping 4U.
=>Our Igbo brothers in China are involved if Ur BB has TV, MicroWave, Torch, Nail cutter, Toothbrush, Lighter and Food flask in it.
=>"She's making me bark like a Bingo... she got me dancing Alingo" ...I still don't understand why Mary Slessor stopped d Killing of Twins.
=>Back then in Primary school, I used to think that song was "I have seen, seen the DownFol of satan" *sighs*.
=>That was how my neighbour named her triplet Faith, Faithful & Faithfulness...Who did those innocent children offend
=>Opportunity knocks but once, if you hear a second knock, bros check well, Na Jehovah witness.
=>Some people will come to visit U, and forget to take their Odour with them when leaving. Their odour becomes Ur permanent room mate.
=>So because Ur picture no fine, U dey claim say "Beauty is from within" why u NO take X- ray do Ur Profile picture?
=>Going for an interview at a bank....dresseslike Cabo Snoop. *sighs* No wonder ur parents didnt use U for Blood money.
=>Ur partner buys U toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, & chewing stick for Xmas; & U stilldon't get d msg. Ur stupidity don enter Google map.
Even those that have heads like 'Cabin Biscuit' be keeping Mo' Hawks too. *sighs*.
=>At 30, U aRe stil in ur parents' house, fightin ur siblings ova who gets d head of fish. Is d witch in ur village fanning herself wit ur pic?
=>Na so my Ibadan girl-friend tell me sey she make pizza for me......I reach house see agege bread with stew and fish inside. *smh*