JUST JOKES: THIS WILL CRACK YOU UP!!

Lol
On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a Pastor met a team of policemen who quite naturally wanted ‘something’ from him. Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the ‘stubborn’ pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car.

A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that letter ‘U’ was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter ‘V’. That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout “stolen vehicle!”

Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the 'OC' to say he was a pastor to which the officer replied, ”Please! Leave that
pastor thing! In any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a bible in your car, bring it.”

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered, “Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me”.

The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read; “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.”

The man of God quietly made an “offering” of “just” 100naira to his newly found “preacher”. (Police man)

2.
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance - Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time, Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."..... Wat will u d if u susie's father ??